In which jetlag takes its toll.

Remember the good ole days before cell phones and computers and other such gadgety devices (this is where the tangent begins-->) with switches that MUST be switched to the OFF position during takeoff and landing and remain OFF until otherwise advised by the captain— which reminds me! On the brand spankin’ new aeroplane I took from Amsterdam to Hamburg, the designers of the little light-up signs above every seat had completely done away with the constantly lit (ironic, no?) international NO SMOKING cigar/ette symbol (and it’s about time, let’s be real here) and had replaced it with a TURN OFF ELECTRONIC DEVICES light, which unfortunately had no entertaining symbol and was simply text (though it’s probably for the better because all the possible symbols for electronic devices (ie. MP3 players, laptops, toothbrushes) will undoubtedly be outdated in a year, but anyway, remember the days before electronic devices (this is where the sentence continues-->) could instantly connect us to anyone or anywhere in the world of things with ON/OFF switches? I don’t particularly have much recollection of them as these days ended around age seven, but I’m sure some of you do. What I’m trying to get at here is that the internet in my apartment is still kaputt and thus I am feeling a little kaputt in my capacity (er, kaputtcity! snark.) to be connected with the outside world, especially since Apartmentmate has been gone the last five days. As introverted as I am, the silence in this apartment is becoming a little too deafening for my liking, even with music playing. I’ve started humming to myself or saying fun German words aloud to lessen the quiet. I’m sure it’s an entertaining sight for all the furniture and other various household objects. Happy to do my part. Stir-crazy. It happens! Have you actually read this whole paragraph? Wow.

I typed falsely a minute ago— Apartmentmate did come back for an hour or so yesterday. She came in and I was so excited to talk to someone that I immediately burst into a great puff of enthusiastic talkage, which I then marveled at for a moment because I’m pretty sure it was some of the best, most German-sounding German I have ever produced. As it was her birthday, I made her a Brownie-Kuchen. She was pleased. We had a cuppa tea. ‘Twas tealightful.

FYI, I have not just been sitting on the couch humming myself into solitudinous insanity all week—in fact, the majority of each day has been spent elsewhere. (I’ll take that pat on the back anytime now.) For example, I’ve enjoyed going on walks around the neighborhood. One beauteous evening I took a stroll through the huge park a block away and was flat-out flattened by its weighty fantastickness. There were paths through lovely wooded areas with lovely trees; a pond surrounded by willows that may or may not have been weeping lovely scum into its waters; wide open grassy places where people were grillin’, playing toss, and generally making merry; various ornate gardens, most of which were now overgrown with late-summer wildness; chess sets of all sizes of people; MINI-GOLF; and these amazing stone ping-pong tables here and there amongst the evening-lit groves. I almost expected to see Aslan perched atop one of them (for all you C.S. Lewis buffs). A great place to bring the kids. Or trade drugs.

Other than the park, I didn’t see too much that interested me except for a very curious phenomenon on my way back home. The sun was doing its radioactive blood orange thing again and its neon rays were hitting the fallen leaves red on one edge, which when paired with the blue shadow on the other side gave them a 3D effect. This was totally trippy on top of the fact that the leaves were, of course, already 3D. O! My eyes. They spun. (And no, no drugs in the park for the Margaret.)

While I’m on this topic, there have been a few other bizarre things that my body has done without checking with my brain first. For example, I awoke to bright freshness after my first night in Hamburg and left the apartment feeling completely ready for the world. I strode confidently down the street with a big smile on my face, cheerily greeted The Cute Old Frumpy Sweater Lady with Walker, was cheerily greeted in return, and then ten seconds later I realized that my feet had gone confidently down the street in the wrong direction. I did a little pride gulping, turned, and did the whole thing over again in reverse (ie. backwards! No, just kidding—though I do have such tour guiding skillz), making sure to cheerfully greet The Cute Old Frumpy Sweater Lady with Walker again going the other way.

My hands worked their mischief at the grocery store while buying ingredients for Apartmentmate’s cake—knowing full well that I needed to buy Backpulver, they bought Backhefe instead. That was a surprise. Yeast ≠ baking powder. (I used my ‘merican baking soda instead, worked fine.) My mouth, however, did the most mischievous thing of all. When last at Allbucks, I ordered in German, for some reason pronounced the kind of tea I wanted in American English, and THEN went on to answer the barista in French. What? I don’t know which of us was more confused.

My other favorite Allbucks moment was overhearing an Australian man cooing to his must-be adorable wee children, Gracie and Tom, on Skype. “Daddy’s going to be home next week and he’s going to cuddle you and Tom! Yes, I’m gonna cuddle you!” (No, anything but the Cuddle Monster, aaahhgdk! …I kid. Everybody loves a good cuddle.)

The last news to report is that the new Smithies are now in town. (HI, FRIENDS!) I should know—I spent the whole day yesterday making trips back and forth to the airport to pick them up. It was delightful to see them and speak a little English/speak to someone, as well as reminisce about my first days in Hamburg on the Smith Junior Year Abroad program. We’re going to have adventures! (And they will no longer be conducted in English! Hooray!)

I wonder when I’ll get to post this. Can I go to sleep yet?

P.S. Check out the expression of the woman on the right. (You can click on the photo to make it bigger!) It’s pretty priceless.