Breakfast Date: Carrot Cake Oatmeal

 

I love the idea of oatmeal. I love the concept of a warm, comforting, slightly chunky goo that is full of nutrients and your favorite flavor of the day that slides down your esophagus and coats your stomach with its clingy embrace before the acids there detach its sticky, clinging fingers. I mean really-- what's not to love? I'll tell you: the goo that remains once the heat has left it, the texture, often the taste. My mother has always been a big proponent of the oatmeal and after years of trying and not being able to make it past the third bite, I'm finally starting to understand the reason for her enthusiasm. See, I am such a big fan of The Oatmeal Concept that I have been putting in extra effort in the past year to train my mouth to accept it. Meine Damen und Herren, it is possible. There are so many ways oatmeal can be delicious! You can cook the oats in conjunction with chunks of banana, walnuts, cinnamon, nutmeg, and cranberries with a fruity glob of applesauce on top. You can prepare it with fresh apples and nuts and spices and trick your mouth into thinking it's pie. You can whip some up in no time on a GDR-era camp stove before sunrise in Spain with nothing but fresh milk and cheap oats and sweet German honey. Or you can get really fancy and pretend it's carrot cake. It's so interesting how tastebuds mature.

I did try some instant oatmeal the other day, however, and BLECHhkgkgkgkg. That stuff is terrible! Still a no-go on potatoes, too, mother. No need to ask. Oh, Mann-- potato oatmeal? Gag me with a spoon.

Adapted from this recipe.

What you need (for one serving):

• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup of thinly grated carrot
• a few date chunks
• 1 tsp brown sugar
• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 cup milk
• pinch of salt
• 1/4 tsp vanilla
• a healthy shake of cinnamon
• smaller shakes of nutmeg & ginger
• pinch of allspice
  ~~~
• 1 tbsp plain yogurt
• 1 tbsp cream cheese
• 1 tsp maple syrup
  ~~~
• 1 tbsp chopped, toasted pecans or walnuts 
• 2 tsp shredded unsweetened coconut
• a few more date chunks
• a healthy zesting of orange

Musik: Something ambitious, adventuresome, like the soundtrack to Amélie or, better yet, "Chariots of Fire".

Simmer the water, grated carrot, the few date chunks, and sugar over medium heat until most of the water has been absorbed and your carrots have surrendered their crunch. Add the milk, rolled oats, and spices. Stir to your favorite oatmeal tenderness/consistency, then plop in vanilla drops. Meanwhile with your other two hands, stir together the yogurt, cream cheese, and syrup in a separate vessel until smoothish. Transfer cake/oatmeal to your favorite breakfast bowl, top with frosting and nuts, the few more date chunks, coconut, and zest. (The zest is really what makes this dish in my opinion. Without it, all you have is mush.) Commence with artsy food photography and consume before it gets cold. That's right-- you totally rocked that.